Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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