Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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