Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
