Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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