Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
She needs sedatives and a leash
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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