I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
