i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
