Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
