my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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