hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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