I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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