he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
