Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I think I am morally bankrupt
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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