whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Randomize
