I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Did I show you my penis last night?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Rumble strips road head = magical
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
