I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
