I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just gift wrapped bread.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
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