I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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