Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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