I need help removing her.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
