no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
