Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
