dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
