There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize