hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
