Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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