Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
They are going to name an STD after you.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
