I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
