You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
