Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
All I want is dick and wine.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
