Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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