Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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