Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
