i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
