I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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