We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Success! We fucked roommates!
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
