I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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