i barfeds in our rink
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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