my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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