As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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