only you would photoshop your dick
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
