4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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