it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
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