Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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