kristin has been a bad kristin
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
