i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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