Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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