My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
