ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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