The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I think a kid would responsible me up
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
