2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
