Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize