Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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