were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She's the barista slut.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I said "one day" and that day is not today
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
