you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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