Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
