he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
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