I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
