I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
