WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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