This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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