For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
cat food counts as protein by the way
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize