i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Someone came in the potted fern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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