is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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